Black and White
by ChaosRocket
Summary: Harry doesn't want to admit his feelings for Hermione, and Hermione isn't sure what to do. H/Hr romance.
1. Harry

AN: Wrote this a very long time ago. Dedicated to Kbuster. Harry's POV.

* * *

I've never really been afraid of Voldemort.

See, Voldemort is totally evil. He cares for nothing and no one. It's all just wanton killing and lust for power.

And that kind of thing is easy to fit into a neat and tidy world view. There is evil in the world; we all know this. There is good and there is evil; the yin and yang, the balance of the universe. And Voldemort is obviously on the evil side, purely and completely.

So that isn't really very scary. What's scary is when good and evil mix together so you can't tell which is which. What's scary is when 'normal' people- not murderers or psychos, but ordinary people, who live and work and love - radiate evil and hatred.

My aunt, uncle and cousin, they scare me. I mean, they love each other, right? They have feelings. So there must be some good in them. But at the same time, they felt hatred for an innocent baby that couldn't help who his parents were. They chose to take their own flesh and blood and lock him in a closet and starve him. How does that make sense? How do you fit that into your neat and tidy world view?

I first realized that I was in love with Hermione when I saw her all dressed up at the Yule ball that day. But I think I'd actually fallen in love with her long before that. But that kind of thing is hard to admit to yourself, you know?

I mean, it's much easier to crush on someone like Cho. She's cute, but I don't really know her; I'm not close to her, so there's no emotional involvement there. No real risk of losing anything.

But Hermione...I could lose everything.

Ron and Hermione were some of the first people in my life to ever show me kindness or affection. They are my best friends. And what if they went away? What would I have then?

They're both good people, I know they are, and I know they love me. And I want to believe that they won't ever go away.

But see, there's that evil in the world. The scary kind, I mean, the kind that mixes up with good so you can't tell which is which. That hatred that can come from normal, loving people. I mean, if something like that can and does exist, then maybe there is no real love in the world. Maybe everyone just goes away in the end.

So I have learned that the good things in the world, like love and kindness and affection, are fragile. They're like a glass vase that can shatter into a million pieces if you bump it the wrong way.

And Hermione finding out how I feel about her might just be that bump.

I mean, what if she doesn't like me back, and then everything gets all awkward between us and she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore? And what about Ron? I can tell that he has a crush on her. He'd hate me if he knew how I felt.

And I really don't know what I'd do if I lost them as friends. They're...all I have.

So I don't think I'm ever going to let her know how I feel. Even though I want to die every time I'm near her because I need her so badly, I'm never going let her know.

I can't go back to being alone in the world.


	2. Hermione

AN: Hermione's POV.

* * *

I can always tell when a boy likes me. Oh, they think they're being so smooth about hiding it, but in reality they're incredibly obvious.

Hey, I AM the smart one here.

Ron used to have a crush on me. But I think it was just one of those situations where he wanted me only because he couldn't have me. So I tried my best to ignore it until he got over it.

Besides, we fight too much. Don't get me wrong, he's one of my best friends in the world, and I love him like a brother, but I have a feeling that an actual romantic relationship between us would end up with the two of us throwing household appliances at each other until the Muggle police had to come out on a domestic disturbance call.

So basically, I'm glad that Ron's given up on me now. I can even tell that he seems to have his eye on someone else...but I won't go into that.

What's important is that Ron and I can go back to just being regular friends, with no kind of romantic tension. And that leaves the way clear for...well...

Harry.

I can tell he likes me, too. He's not all immature and jealous and silly about it like Ron was when he had a crush on me, and that's how I can tell that his feelings are more serious. Which is a good thing, believe me.

Because I think I feel the same way. I think I always have.

Of course, it's not just that simple. He happens to be my best friend; romance always complicates friendships. And I do wonder why he hasn't told me yet. Of course, he's a boy; boys, in my experience, don't tend to have the best romantic instincts.

So, I will have to take matters into my own hands. Harry and I together, it's just too right, it just makes too much sense. And when I look into those bright green eyes, and imagine his arms around me...

Oh, you will have to forgive that small tangent of romanticism that I almost went off on. You see, I am very very mature for my age, if I must say so myself. I'm not normally prone to getting all airy and fluttery over a guy, even if it is the love of my life.

And I certainly won't be getting all giggly and nervous and scared about telling him, either. No, I will definitely be an adult about this entire situation. I will tell him, and it will be perfect.

...I hope.

Because Harry and I, we're meant to be.


	3. Together

It was late at night, and Hermione was still awake, long after all the others had gone to bed. She was about to wear a hole in the floor of the Gryffindor common room with her incessant pacing.

Hermione had decided that she needed to get herself together with Harry. The only problem was...how? You see, Hermione was much better at cold logic than she was at coming up with romantic schemes.

She could...get involved in some situation that caused her to end up trapped alone with Harry?

She could...invite Harry up to the astronomy tower for a 'talk'?

She could...get upset or hurt and have Harry comfort her?

She could...end up trapped alone with Harry in the astronomy tower and then get upset and have him comfort her?

No, no...none of that was any good.

After much deliberation, Hermione decided on her final plan of action: she would simply tell him. Tomorrow.

The next day, Harry asked Hermione why she looked so tired. She told him that she had just been up late studying the night before. He had no idea that she'd actually been up all night angsting over him; if only he knew!

But the time when Hermione planned on sitting Harry down and telling him how she felt was drawing near. She had decided to wait until it was late, and the common room was empty...that would be a good time for a serious talk.

"You...you...what?!"

Hermione looked at Harry, bewildered. "Not exactly the reaction I had been hoping for..."

"Oh 'Mione...I didn't mean it that way...I was just surprised, that's all."

"Well then...what do you think?" Hermione asked.

Harry paused. "Well, honestly...I mean, well...but what about...?" Harry trailed off.

"Ron? Oh, don't worry, he doesn't like me anymore. I always knew his crush on me wasn't serious. Besides, he's found a new love interest," Hermione said.

"Really? Who is it?" Harry asked.

"Uh...do you think we could talk about that later? I was sort of concerned with the subject at hand." Hermione said.

"Oh! Right. Of course. Well I mean...I do, Hermione. I do, I always have." Harry paused. "But this is scary, you know?"

Hermione cocked her head and looked at Harry tenderly. "Nah...nothing is that scary when you've got a friend along with you." She reached over and grasped Harry's hand. "And friends are forever, no matter what."

And in that one moment- just for then- Harry believed it. And he leaned over and kissed her.


End file.
